Thursday, February 25, 2010

You Might Be a Gun Nut If...

  • buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gun stocks, and then start on the bedposts.
  • cannot recall how many firearms you own.
  • buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the barrel is 1/2" shorter (or longer).
  • buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
  • know 12 different names for one caliber of cartridge.
  • ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
  • consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
  • purchased two Glocks and two Sigs just to see which brand was better.
  • ...your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually works.
  • strip all the paint off our car and refinish it with cold blue.
  • ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
  • ...your collection of American Rifleman back issues, Gun Digests and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved.
  • have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
  • buy high capacity magazines for a gun you have not bought yet.
  • take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
  • ...your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.
  • see TV footage of the war in Bosnia and wish you were there to pick up the brass.
  • drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) (H&K H-K) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek).
  • keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
  • consider it unpatriotic not to own at least one .45 and one .22.
  • named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
  • own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
  • tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
  • understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
  • ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."
  • keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work as a "conversation piece."
  • take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
  • ever had to explain, "It's NOT the same gun, it's a variation!"
  •'re relaxing at home, thinking about a pistol you haven't shot in a while, and you have a PANIC ATTACK, because you can't remember where you've it hidden in the house..!
  •'ve ever actually claimed that you deer hunt to save money, after spending $300 on gear.

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